The One Who Calms Every Storm
A year ago or more I was talking to a therapist. She had asked me what sorts of things triggered my anxiety. “Storms. Being caught in one suddenly. With nowhere to go.” I laughed about it. She said, “Do you feel like, deep inside, you’re afraid something will bring sudden chaos into your life, like an unexpected storm?”
“Well. Yes. I guess I do.”
When my dad died, it was so awful. So scary. So disappointing. I’m still, sometimes, in utter disbelief that he isn’t here. That storm came on so suddenly. And was so destructive. And I was caught in it. Screaming and crying. Searching for a way out.
When Michael and I got caught in the Derecho, it was, in a way, the same. “Everything is going to be ok” turned into a storm we literally couldn’t drive through. We had to stay in it, and wait. When the fear overcame me, my first thought was, “I want my dad!” And I disintegrated into heaving tears, closing my eyes tight and covering my ears and head. There was nothing to do but wait it out. To let it pass us.
In the midst of both of those storms, I cried out to Jesus. I don’t say that poetically. I actually yelled, begging Him to help me. Begging God to make the storm stop. Begging for the storm to be still and all to be well.
But it didn’t stop.
It kept storming. My dad’s heart kept failing. My circumstances did not change.
But there was another thing I said in the midst of all that raging atmosphere: Jesus, I trust you! Jesus, I trust you!
When I said that, even though nothing was changing around me, my spirit responded. The hurricane inside of me responded to the name of Jesus. A very strange calm came over me. I was still afraid. Every part of me still hurt. But my soul found rest. Like the innermost part of me was in the calm eye of the storm.
Sometimes the real storm and the physical heart come into order in the name of Jesus. But when they don’t? He is still the one who calms the waters and tells the wind to “STOP!”
The terrifying wind ceased. And my dad walked into Heaven. One thing is for sure: Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and because of Him every tear will be dried up and every fear extinguished. Our prayers for healing are always, ALWAYS, answered with YES! ...sometimes we just have to wait to see “Yes” enter into our view. In the meantime, we can TRUST the one who will calm every storm.
